‘life’ Archive
This entry was posted July 13th, 2010 and has no nomments.
“You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your f-ing Khakis. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.”
You are not a personal brand.
If Fight Club was written today, I imagine that famous Tyler Durden monologue might include a simple reminder for us that we are not, in fact, personal brands. As so often happens, the marketing world has latched on to this idea of people becoming their own brands. On the surface, it sounds simple enough. But if you dig a bit deeper, the concept of a personal brand becomes something much different than what most people actually want from their lives.
Brands require promotion. So, if you consider yourself a personal brand, that means you have to spend time promoting yourself. Like any brand, if you do something good, you need to tell as many people as you can, as many times as you can.
A brand has to advertise, be written about, have a large following, and be patronized in order to be significant. But the most significant people are those who go about their work without fanfare and praise from people they don’t know.
The people that matter - your parents, your husband or wife, your kids, your friends, your colleagues - these people don’t give a shit about your brand. They care about what you do and how you treat people.
We already have the right word for personal brand. It’s reputation. Your reputation is built by doing good things, caring about people and your community, and working hard.
Reputations are built by what you do. Personal brands are built by what you say.
Now, this may sound like arguing over semantics. But I think there is an important distinction here. If you view yourself as a brand, even a personal one, you end up acting like a brand. Instead of doing something for your community because you feel it’s the right thing to do, you do it because it’s a mini, personal PR stunt.
You are a person. You are not a brand, no matter how hard someone tries to convince you that you need to be.
Posted in life
This entry was posted May 25th, 2010 and has 1 comment.
If there is one thing that is true about my grandfather, it’s that he loved to tell stories.
He was famous for these stories. Or perhaps infamous is the right word. There was never a family dinner that did not end with a 20-minute story about his life or a tale about a long-deceased family member.
As a young child, I remember being fascinated by these stories and playing them out in my head as he spoke, picturing every vivid scene and thinking about these stories long after he was done telling them. As I got a bit older, as so many of us do, I grew low on patience and was anxious to leave the table and do whatever it was I wanted to do. I guess, in my mind, I had more interesting things to do than listen to old stories.
I’m not sure quite when it was, but maybe 7 or 8 years ago, I was sitting at that same table listening to my grandfather tell the story of losing his mother when he was still a very young man. There was something about the humility and emotion with which he told this story, more than 60 years after it happened, that I just had not experienced before.
My grandfather was not a soft man. Most of his stories sounded like they could have been the basis for an epic Hollywood action movie. Thomas Walbert was born to a middle-class family in Western Maryland, but soon found himself the man of the house when his father left the family before his 10th birthday and amidst the Great Depression. At this young age he quit school and began working to support his mother and younger sister. Before his 18th birthday, my grandfather was traveling the country as a professional boxer. A few years later, as an Army Ranger, he stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day.
These were the stories that I had heard so many times throughout my childhood and I admired my grandfather for living such a brave and amazing life. But it was the story about the death of his mother that captivated me like none of the others.
Like I said, my grandfather became a professional boxer at the age of 16. One night, he was fighting in Detroit and after the fight, his manager told him to get back to Maryland as fast as he could. His mother was on her deathbed and did not have much longer to live. He told us, this with tears in his eyes, how he raced home as fast as he could, and was able to tell his mother goodbye just before she passed.
It was this story that really made me appreciate the gift of storytelling that he possessed. From that day on, I listened intently to every story he told and prodded him to tell more. And it’s through many of my grandfather’s stories that I learned not only about my family and where I came from, but about the desires within myself to live a life worthy of great stories.
My grandfather would not have been able to tell these stories if he had not lived the way he did. You cannot tell a story of bravery unless you have acted bravely. You cannot tell a story of loss unless you have suffered it. And, you cannot tell a story of love unless you have experienced it completely.
Bucky Walbert, as he was known to his friends and family, passed away on Saturday at the age of 90. While we cannot possibly remember every detail of every story, I will always remember the lessons these stories taught me and will continue to be inspired by them to live a life worthy of great stories.
Posted in life
This entry was posted May 4th, 2010 and has no nomments.
Posted in life
This entry was posted April 4th, 2010 and has 1 comment.
I haven’t been writing much lately, and when I do, it’s because there is a thought or idea stuck in my head. One that won’t leave unless I explore it and write it down. Such is the case with the subject of this post.
A few weeks ago, a friend and I were discussing the new artistic project of another friend. This person has received serious praise for previous artistic endeavors, and for good reason. He is extremely talented and his work has been featured and adored in nationally known and respected publications. His most recent project is just as amazing and has already garnered similar praise.
One critic, apparently not his biggest fan, however, trashed his latest work. My initial reaction was to shrug and say, “Well, who cares what that guy says.” Of course, it wasn’t my hard work that the man was criticizing, so it was much easier for me to have this reaction. The artist, to my surprise, was taking this critique extremely hard and was seemingly devastated by it.
For some reason, this reaction really surprised me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It occurred to me, that it wasn’t only criticism that he took to heart, but praise as well. All of those positive reviews meant a lot to him, perhaps more than they should.
One cannot relish and love praise, without also being devastated by criticism. This is true of us all. See, praise and criticism are intrinsically linked. They both stem from another’s thoughts about us or our work. And placing too much value on another’s opinion of us, whether that opinion be positive or negative, gives that person control over our feelings and self-value.
I don’t want it to seem that I am singling this man out, because I have been guilty of the same thing. This conversation just brought this truth to light for me and made me see the same fault in myself. It is all too easy to love praise, and it usually happens without us even knowing. But we must be careful not to give others the power to determine how we feel about our work or ourselves. We are all flawed and one man’s opinion should never create the value of another.
Posted in life
This entry was posted February 12th, 2010 and has 2 comments.
It’s been 3 weeks since Conan’s farewell speech, and I haven’t been able to get this quote out of my head.
We hear so much in our culture today about how you have to work hard to be successful. Which is true. However, what usually goes unsaid is the implication that you must succeed at all costs. The end justifies the means. If you need to step on people to get ahead, then that’s just part of the game.
Conan is the first person in the spotlight I have heard in a long time defy that idea. Not only should you work hard, but you also need to treat people with dignity and respect. It sounds simple, but so many people in positions of power don’t hold this belief.
The means matter. How we live and how we treat people matters. Our fortunes will vary and we all will go through good times and tough times. The important thing is to stay true to our beliefs no matter what and to continually treat others with the dignity and respect they deserve.
Posted in life
This entry was posted January 22nd, 2010 and has 3 comments.
Today is officially my last day working at Media Works. After much thought, prayer and discussion with friends and family, I have decided to leave my beloved Baltimore and take a job at Blueliner Marketing in New York City.
I am extremely excited about embarking on this adventure. Blueliner is a great agency made up of a lot of smart and interesting people and I know we will do big things in the coming months and years. I’m also really looking forward to living and working in New York. Having spent a good amount of time there in the past year, I know that it is going to be a really amazing life experience.
As I’m sure anyone reading this knows, my girlfriend Lauren and I have been dating long-distance for the past year and a half. We have done amazingly well dealing with long Megabus rides, weeks of not seeing each other, and all of the issues that go along with a long-distance relationship. With that said, I cannot wait to actually live in the same city as her.
But with the excitement and anticipation of a new experience undoubtedly comes the downside of leaving the people and places that you know so well. My family and lifelong friends live in Baltimore and I know it’s going to be hard, at times, not being able to drive over to their houses or grab dinner together on a weeknight. Baltimore has always been my home and a city that I love. There is something about Baltimore that cannot be replicated in any other city.
I am also truly going to miss all of the people at Media Works and our amazing clients. I have gained an incredible amount of knowledge over the past 3 years and have developed some really great relationships that I am sure will continue through the years. I owe a special thank you to Jody Berg for giving me the opportunity to be a part of Media Works and for much guidance and support during my time there.
The more I think and talk about the move, though, the more excited I get. Thanks to all of my friends, family, and maybe some strangers who read this blog. I hope you will keep reading and stick with me throughout this next stage of my life. And next time you’re in New York, give me a call.
So, here’s to new challenges and experiences. Stay tuned.
Posted in life
This entry was posted November 24th, 2009 and has no nomments.
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Coming from a big extended family, Thanksgiving has traditionally been the holiday that we all spend together, relaxing and enjoying each others’ company. As the years pass, I find myself even more excited about this holiday. During this week leading up to Thanksgiving, I wanted to take a few minutes and remember what I am thankful for.
I heard something this past weekend that really made me stop and think. It was something to the effect of, Are we spending more time complaining about the things we don’t have and what’s not going as planned, or being grateful and thankful for all of the blessings we do have?
If you really think about it, are you actively being thankful for things throughout the day or spending your time and energy complaining? Obviously there are times when it’s hard to feel thankful and times when you need to address the things that are not going well. But for most of us, most of the time, life is pretty good.
There are so many things to be thankful for, but as of late I have been thinking about one thing more than the rest. I am surrounded by amazing and supportive people. My family, friends, and girlfriend have been there for me so many times in so many ways and I am eternally grateful to them. I only hope that they receive the same type of support from me. To all of you, thank you.
My challenge to all of us this week is to intentionally spend some time being thankful. Especially when things aren’t going well, step back and think of something that you’re thankful for. It really does help put things back in perspective. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I hope you enjoy it as much as I will.
Posted in life
This entry was posted June 30th, 2009 and has 1 comment.
Last night, as I was driving to pick up my little brother, I was struck by the fact that it has been nearly two years since we were matched. Many things in both my life and his life have changed in the last two years, but what hasn’t changed is the ongoing commitment to spend time together.
I approached the whole Big Brothers thing with excitement, but also a bit of trepidation. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure that I could be a good mentor or role model for a kid. I don’t have life figured out, so what wisdom can I impart on someone else?
Through this experience, I’ve learned that I don’t have to be perfect and I don’t have to attempt to share some great wisdom or knowledge with him. All I really have to do is remain committed to spending time with him and do a lot of listening. I don’t know that he will remember anything I have said to him in 10 years, but I’m pretty sure he will remember that someone cared enough about him to take him to baseball games, play video games with him, and teach him how to fix his bike.
Continue reading Two Years as a Big Brother
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This entry was posted January 19th, 2009 and has no nomments.
On Saturday afternoon I joined 40,000 of my fellow Baltimoreans to welcome President-Elect Obama to our city. Tomorrow, of course, Mr. Obama will be sworn-in as president. For many people, especially older African-Americans, this is a day they thought would never come. Tomorrow, January 20, 2009, the United States of America will inaugurate our first African-American president.
While we were waiting for Obama to address the crowd, I stood next to an older African-American couple and their friends. You could just tell that the election of Barack Obama meant so much to them. They lived through the worst and most disgraceful part of American history and now are seeing an African-American man take the office of President of the United States of America.
Our country has come so far in the 45 years since Dr. King gave his beloved I Have a Dream speech. Many are even saying today that Dr. King’s vision has now been fully realized. CNN released poll results this morning saying that “More than two-thirds of African-Americans believe Martin Luther King, Jr.’s vision for race relations has been fulfilled.”
Continue reading Is Obama’s Inauguration the Realization of Dr. King’s Dream?
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This entry was posted November 7th, 2008 and has 4 comments.
My grandmother, Mary Smiraglia, passed away this Wednesday at the age of 85 after a bout with liver cancer. Each of the grandchildren were asked to write a letter to or about her. This is mine.
From my earliest memories, my grandparent’s house was always filled with what seemed like a thousand people. Whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, or just someone’s birthday, my entire huge family was always there. I looked forward to these events so much because I knew how fun they would be.
As a kid, I thought everyone had a large family that they were really close with. The older I got, the more I realized that this was something very special and a thing to be cherished. Despite having 7 children, 18 grandchildren, and 3 great-grandchildren, my grandmother always made time for each of us. I remember her coming to my elementary school for ‘grandparents’ day’ and bragging about having 18 grandchildren and how amazing they all were. They would ask all of the grandparents to stay standing until their number of grandchildren was called. My grandmother was always the last one standing.
Sometimes you don’t understand how strong a person is until they have to deal with tragedy. My grandfather passed away rather suddenly when I was 10-years-old. This was a very tough time for my family and something that I know devastated my grandmother. Some people would have been defeated by the loss of their true love, what must have been an overwhelming experience. My grandmother, however, dealt with the loss by bringing the family even closer together.
Continue reading In Memory of my Grandmother, Mary Smiraglia
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