If You Enjoy Praise Too Much, You will be Devastated by Criticism
I haven’t been writing much lately, and when I do, it’s because there is a thought or idea stuck in my head. One that won’t leave unless I explore it and write it down. Such is the case with the subject of this post.
A few weeks ago, a friend and I were discussing the new artistic project of another friend. This person has received serious praise for previous artistic endeavors, and for good reason. He is extremely talented and his work has been featured and adored in nationally known and respected publications. His most recent project is just as amazing and has already garnered similar praise.
One critic, apparently not his biggest fan, however, trashed his latest work. My initial reaction was to shrug and say, “Well, who cares what that guy says.” Of course, it wasn’t my hard work that the man was criticizing, so it was much easier for me to have this reaction. The artist, to my surprise, was taking this critique extremely hard and was seemingly devastated by it.
For some reason, this reaction really surprised me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It occurred to me, that it wasn’t only criticism that he took to heart, but praise as well. All of those positive reviews meant a lot to him, perhaps more than they should.
One cannot relish and love praise, without also being devastated by criticism. This is true of us all. See, praise and criticism are intrinsically linked. They both stem from another’s thoughts about us or our work. And placing too much value on another’s opinion of us, whether that opinion be positive or negative, gives that person control over our feelings and self-value.
I don’t want it to seem that I am singling this man out, because I have been guilty of the same thing. This conversation just brought this truth to light for me and made me see the same fault in myself. It is all too easy to love praise, and it usually happens without us even knowing. But we must be careful not to give others the power to determine how we feel about our work or ourselves. We are all flawed and one man’s opinion should never create the value of another.